Monday, April 4, 2011

Numbers

Four days. For four days, I housed you. For four days, I let you into my life. Totally. Completely.

Three nights. For three nights, you slept beside me. For three nights, I smoked you up.

Twice. Twice, I cooked you dinner. Twice, we had sex. Twice, you told me how nice I was to you.

Once. Once, you ate without even talking to me, preferring to stay online instead. Once, you browsed other girls while laying in bed next to me. Once, you convinced me that you had given my number to other guys "for a good time." Once, I told you three nights together was too much.

Well.

Four days. For four days, I loved having you here. For four days, you got closer to me than I let nearly anyone else.

Three nights. For three nights, I slept fitfully because I knew you were there. For three nights, I woke up with our heads touching, forehead to forehead. For three nights, I dreamed of you.

Twice. Twice, I loved cooking for you. Twice, I thought how fantastically lucky I was. Twice, I thought how nice you were to me.

Once, I got so mad at you because you'd rather chat online than talk to me where I sat in front of you. Once, I got upset that I might not be enough for you. Once, I got upset because I liked you so damn much, and when you pulled the joke over my head, it felt like all I was to you was a "good time," when to me, you were so much more, and I didn't want to be out there on that far, far limb, all by myself. Once, I didn't know how to tell you that, so instead, I told you three nights was too much.

Five. Five months I gave to you. I would have hoped for more from you, but whatever.

Well. I guess I'll never know what happened, anyhow.

XOXO

6 comments:

  1. :(
    I'm sorry girl. I hate when things end like that, and when it's unexplained and illogical. Feel free to email me anytime.. I'm here if you need anything. rachel.reichert4@gmail.com

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  2. This made my eyes water and gave me chills from beginning to end. You illustrate emotions so beautifully and it is truly a gift. Everything works out the way that it should, I promise.

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  3. I'm so sorry sweet girl, but you know what? You're out there doing big things and in doing big things, you're going to meet ambitious and wonderful people worthy of your time who would rather spend time with you than anything else (in the best of non-clingy ways).
    All that said, I know it hurts and I'm sorry. You know where to find me if you need anything.

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  4. Thank you ladies so much for your love and support; it really means the world to me.

    XOXO

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