Saturday, December 12, 2009

Supercallifragisexy...With Cheetos On Top.

Because Fergie has not yet penned an epic war-chant for the vaguely illiterate yet titled "Un-G-L-A-M-O-U-R-O-U-S," please let me enlighten you as to what the music video for this gem would look like:

A college girl, dressed in plaid flannel, sitting in the half-empty bedroom that she is in the process of moving out of, cuddling with her husband pillow (yes, that's what they are called,) while giggling like a rabid hyena and trying to stifle the sound so she doesn't wake her roommates up while catching up on reading GoFugYourself and 2Birds1Blog, and MOWING down on a bag of Cheetos at 2-fiddy in the morning like she has not eaten all day and she can see Starvation, closely followed by Death, trotting up the path toward her. In the background, drunk 20-something men longing for their frat days shout things like "That's how we do it, BITCH," as they stumble out of the bars below the apartment.

Yeah, that's right, 2-FIDDY.

Which is totally, exactly what I am doing right now. I am eating Cheetos, and not doing any of my exam homework. No judging-- we know what choice we all would have made, too.

I swear it is not because I didn't fall off of the little green wagon. Nor am I drunk. There are just some nights when a girl needs a little orange fake cheese powder schmeared on her duvet cover.

...I have either made it in life, or I am nowhere near to ever making it. I just can't decide which. The good news is I am perfectly happy with either.

Can I get a "G"?
...An "L"?
......Possibly a "supercallifragisexy?"

...I am so ashamed I actually know that phrase.


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