Saturday, November 27, 2010

Make Wise Decisions

The first man who proposed to me was desperate for a family and cheating on me at the time because he knew that at my young age, kids weren't a paramount desire for me-- going to college was. I thought he was joking-- there was no ring, no bended knee, not even any short but sweet speech about how I made his life better. Just a "What would you think about getting married?" I laughed. To this day, I still laugh. Because life with him would have been laughable, and ended in divorce, tout suite.

The second man who proposed to me was drunk. Drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk. It was at my cousin's wedding, and we'd be talking for an hour, and everyone knows how weddings make people. When he proposed that I become Mrs. Joey Valentino, since I had the class, the brains, the looks, and the connections that he was looking for in a wife, I very gently told him to reconsider in the morning, when he was sober. One tells men used to hearing "yes" due to their family connections to reconsider things very gently. On one hand, I could be sitting in a manse in Red Bank right now, wearing Dior and sipping on Patron, or on the other hand, I could actually be getting on with my life in the real world. But I'm not going to lie-- right around when the time of the month comes to pay the bills, I start to really miss Joey.

The third man to use the words "I'd" "marry" and "you" together in a sentence was one of my best guy friends, after he saw that this was something I'd want my groom and his groomsmen to do in our Star Wars-themed wedding. He was obviously kidding, and it was obviously not really a marriage proposal. It was the best one that I'd gotten yet.

Make wise decisions when it comes to the rest of your life, ladies. There's a difference between being in love with someone and being in love with the idea of love. The wisest women I know have turned down their first 2 proposals. Extremely wise mothers of some of my friends turned down the first 2 proposals of their future husbands and fathers of their children, just to make sure they were serious, or because they felt that as a man, they weren't ready yet for marriage. It takes a while to find out what you're really looking for in a mate, and the best way to do that is to be faced with the idea of spending the rest of your life with someone, and realizing you don't want to for this reason, and that reason, and because they hold their fork like this. Be young; be wise; be single-- don't get married or even engaged until the third time is at least more than a charm.


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