tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32004088244425711942024-03-05T03:40:04.482-08:00Sex And The College GirlThe misadventures, romances, and un-romances of a college girl who refuses to keep her fingers off the keyboard, or her dating follies to herself. Carrie Bradshaw does Campus.Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.comBlogger287125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-80201547538943632482011-10-12T18:47:00.000-07:002011-10-12T18:47:46.908-07:00I'm Just Giving The Dog A Bone: The Men's Guide To FlirtingSo you think you can flirt, huh? I have news for you, buddy-- you can always improve on that game, and just like how you begged until your parents sent you to basketball camp in middle school so that you could improve that 3-point shot of yours, I'm here by popular demand to tell you where you're slacking on the job while trying to pick up chicks. So, here it is, 5 quick, easy tips for sneakily Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-38680549963847150072011-10-11T19:02:00.000-07:002011-10-11T19:06:01.767-07:00How To Stay Single, Or, The New Girl Brings All The Boys To The Yard.When I moved home, I expected that being a grown-ass woman rooming with her parents was going to be putting a HUGE dent in my dating game, were I to choose to play it again. I forgot to factor in the atmosphere of where, exactly, I was moving back to, literally and metaphorically.
The one thing I'd forgotten about starting new jobs was the fact that working in a mall is kind of like being thrownCarissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-91825363536280729852011-09-12T20:31:00.000-07:002011-09-12T20:31:47.733-07:00Back In The Saddle(bags) Again
There are a few things I really like about attending weddings: The look on the bride and groom's faces as they look at each other, the dancing at the reception afterwards, and the ruthless "time of famine and drought"-style drinking involved when the two best words in the English language get together-- Open. Bar. And then there are a few things I really hate about attending weddings: The fact Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-20382847743225436192011-09-05T10:04:00.000-07:002011-09-05T10:05:39.279-07:00Giving Up The Ghosts
Last night, I had a dream about the first boy I ever really liked and had a mad, raging, multi-year-long crush on. It was an interesting dream, because in it, he was just as blase and indecisive as he had been in real life. Finally, driven to the end of my proverbial rope by despair and out of my wits with frustration, I wrote him a letter, outlining the fact that as long as he couldn't choose Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-67672526322780254752011-08-03T23:57:00.000-07:002011-08-04T00:36:47.613-07:00First Right Of RefusalI recently sold my horse. It was EASILY the hardest decision of my life; for those of you non-horsey people out there, imagine it feeling as it would be like to give up a 7 year old child. It was the right thing for me to do at this point in my life, financially, but about the only thing that made me actually go through with it instead of climbing on my mare's back and taking off into the sunset,Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-79430239191163578052011-08-02T08:45:00.000-07:002011-08-02T10:45:10.287-07:00"It's Not Me...It's You."Here's the thing about pregnancy tests: You never quite believe that it's actually you holding them. They're like a Twilight Zone wormhole from which you look down at the box in your hand and ask yourself, "Is this really me standing here with this thing? Like, is this for real?" You know how in movies, when they do POV shots, it feels really uncomfortable to be the viewer, because you KNOW that Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-15087814348306465732011-07-26T16:33:00.000-07:002011-07-26T18:27:30.554-07:00A Better Woman Than YouOne of the bad parts about staying in the same town that you graduated college in is that inevitably, you'll run into people from your past who you would rather not see. Like today when I unexpectedly bumped into one of the ex's little slips in fidelity. It had been awhile since I'd seen her; even longer since I'd seen her in the same room as myself and the ex. If counting my two relationships Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-48290758858081091132011-07-16T20:01:00.000-07:002011-07-16T20:47:44.382-07:00Figuring It All OutAt 22, I thought that my big Quarterlife-Crisis change would be starting to navigate the big, scary Real World, B.S in hand. Instead, the economy solved that issues for me by making me generally unemployable (who ever got a Liberal Arts degree, anyway?) and only a few months freshly out of college, my big life change ended up being a drastic switch from The Single Life to The Coupled Life. Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-6674996155731462422011-07-05T17:33:00.000-07:002011-07-05T17:42:04.103-07:00Batgirl's Got Shit On Super Girlfriend.Over the weekend, one of my best friends came and stayed with us. For both of us-- "fun"employed graduates with a bachelors in writing who aren't happy unless we're working for 5 independently contracted clients at once and think "relaxing" is an exercise is being frivolous-- it was not only a great chance to not only discover "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding", read woman's magazines, eat McDonalds (or Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-72895752585464451532011-06-29T14:20:00.001-07:002011-06-29T14:28:51.887-07:00You Can't Live On Love AloneAnd now for something completely different...Now it's my turn to ask you lovely readers for some help in regards to how to make a relationship work even better!Ok, here we go— yet again another chance for me to prove to you how painfully yet wonderfully new everything about a serious, cohabitating relationship is to me: Mealtimes. How in the name of god do you coordinate two very different Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-59954466212776700882011-06-22T09:58:00.000-07:002011-06-22T13:13:25.849-07:00Go With The FlowWhat's more hip right now than vampires? Tampons, obviously. Let's talk about vaginas, shall we?I'll admit it-- I'm a bit of a brand whore, and I'm as loyal as the Labrador Retriever you grew up with when I find a product I like. I've worn the same American Eagle jeans since I was in middle school, because they're the cuts that fit me best. I've washed my hair with Garnier Fructis since I was a Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-59739563580374852382011-06-06T07:20:00.000-07:002011-06-06T09:17:15.814-07:00Things About Being The Best Girlfriend You Can Be That Nobody Ever Told You:...Until now.1.) Sometimes, guys get headaches, too. A night spent together without sleeping together is not a night wasted-- it's life. Just like you have "off" nights, men are allowed to have "off" nights and days, too. Don't take it personally. Enjoy your night of restful sleep. And if you're really torn up about it...there's always the next morning.2.) Nannying was a really useful summer job Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-49408867389091033652011-05-28T12:45:00.000-07:002011-05-28T13:06:44.169-07:00Like A Bad Episode Of "Mad Men."So, that new little widgety thing at the top of the page there, where it says "I Majored In Creative Writing, Why?" and has a donation tab? That's not spam, or an extremely fitting ad. That's what happens when your parents are supportive of your dreams and don't stop you from graduating with a B.S in Writing and no job. So, if you, dear readers, happen to be a little more flush than I am, and Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-55406473723955993742011-05-23T21:20:00.000-07:002011-05-23T21:59:18.956-07:00Attack Of The Pod People.My childhood best friend is getting married shortly (a June wedding; classic, of course). Despite the fact that we've been largely out of touch for the past few years, my family and I were still invited. My dad bowed out-- weddings aren't exactly his thing-- but my S.O gamely agreed to be my date, anyhow. What startled me the most about these upcoming nuptials wasn't the fact that I actually haveCarissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-85941915904904370562011-05-19T11:13:00.000-07:002011-05-19T11:23:49.926-07:00A Rose By Any Other Name Is Still A Slut.While my ex seems to be content with popping up on my cell phone's screen at all hours of the night, now plagued with a need to reconcile after all this radio silence, my S.O's ex didn't seemingly take to the news that he was seeing someone new so well, which has resulted in such jewels as "Makes more sense now; Carissa is a whore's name :)," popping up on HIS cell phone's screen.I Googled. ThereCarissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-20045793076840815882011-05-15T23:22:00.000-07:002011-05-15T23:26:27.048-07:00Life, Liberty, And The Pursuit Of A Relationship.You do things for relationships that you normally wouldn't be caught dead doing, right? I mean, after all, we always hear about how "sacrifice" and "work" are the two hot-button words in the game of being a two-some. For some women, that means learning how many minutes are in a quarter of football (that's 15, if you were wondering,) and what player's names to scream at the TV. For others, it Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-63270256122068239412011-05-15T23:00:00.001-07:002011-05-15T23:05:32.256-07:00How To Not Meet The ParentsAfter over 6 years of dating, NUMEROUS relationships, and both some long and short distance flings, I have finally managed to stop dodging the bullet, and put my Big Girl Pants on and met a guy's mother. Mostly, I managed to accomplish this tremendous feat of chicken-shit-ness by either A.) Dating guys without parents (read: orphans, foster kids, or extremely independent children of nasty Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-69970458480458443952011-05-12T12:33:00.000-07:002011-05-13T14:47:31.873-07:00Live, Single Girls!After my third friend in a row was recently dumped by her long-time partner in lovin' crime, it started to put my ladies in the Burlington area in a bit of a panic. First, TGIS had gone MIA, then, one friend's 9+ month f-buddy called it quits on her while citing the need to emotionally distance himself before moving to Beantown, and to top it all off, one of the longest-running couples I knew Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-13558626450018144512011-04-21T06:26:00.000-07:002011-04-22T13:00:29.335-07:00The Anti-ReboundLast night, I went out for impromptu drinks with a guy. It's not like I went to my night class thinking, "Whelp, it's the last class of the semester and everyone is ridiculously stressed in Hell Week before Finals, so why don't we choose now to find someone to go out with, eh?" But that's what happened. As we chatted instead of working, and added each other on Facebook (the "hey, I'm interested Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-24527508642575213672011-04-17T15:08:00.000-07:002011-04-17T16:08:09.994-07:00"O" Makes The World Go 'Round.I'm taking a break from my Hell Week before Finals and graduation to bring you something I found while researching for my Gender Com. paper: A response from a potential student's father to the University of West Florida's sex column from March 2009, saying, "What possible editorial and journalistic motive was there for printing such trash-- was this an opinion piece meant to elevate the Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-37086386095272228402011-04-10T15:05:00.000-07:002011-04-10T15:09:06.759-07:00Spring CleaningI look down, and still see your Pubic hair On my bath mat.There probably isn’t a less Romantic lineAnywhere in the rest of the poems in English in the world,But it’s something about how The sight of itMakes meFeel.You left Visible reminders behind you everywhere,From your long and curlies on the bathroom floor,To the hole you accidentally punched in my wall when lastYou came.I separate your socksCarissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-77974009758083687592011-04-05T18:32:00.000-07:002011-04-05T18:49:20.882-07:00Self-CensorshipI do not meanto exploit our relationshipAll that I havelearned from youI cherish mostShould I keep it to myself?Should I keep you to myself?What is personal?Should I code what I say?I say so littletoo muchwhen meanings are already hiddenShould I hide them?What am I going to keep for myself?The wild woman is unkemptThe changing woman is unkemptShe speaks her mind.- Excerpt from "She" by Saul Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-7328299279084380612011-04-05T09:41:00.000-07:002011-04-05T09:51:03.177-07:00Ask Men, Get Real Women's Answers.AskMen.com has the ability to really piss me off sometimes. Other times, I give them a hearty "A-MEN!" (Yes, yes, as always, pun intended.) Because I'm currently slaving away at my senior thesis for my B.S (NOT bullshit, as you might think), and don't really have any relationship fodder for you at the mo' as I have no fucking clue what's up with TGIS (or most of my life, for that matter), here Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-85107523694090100552011-04-04T22:34:00.000-07:002011-04-05T01:12:11.632-07:00NumbersFour days. For four days, I housed you. For four days, I let you into my life. Totally. Completely.Three nights. For three nights, you slept beside me. For three nights, I smoked you up. Twice. Twice, I cooked you dinner. Twice, we had sex. Twice, you told me how nice I was to you.Once. Once, you ate without even talking to me, preferring to stay online instead. Once, you browsed other girls Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3200408824442571194.post-73774286785963478252011-04-02T23:29:00.000-07:002011-04-02T23:34:14.008-07:00Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, See No Other Women.The other week, TGIS (again, that's The Guy I'm Seeing) and I were chatting about a mutual acquaintance as we were getting ready to go out for brunch, per usual, when he let something slip that wasn't the usual. "Yeah, I went out on a date-slash-lunch date with _____ around Thanksgiving, and we were talking about him and how every woman is in love with him."What I wanted to say was "Hold up, Carissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04524392277808185684noreply@blogger.com3